


As They Are

by Welfycat



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-06
Updated: 2012-01-06
Packaged: 2017-10-29 01:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/314162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Welfycat/pseuds/Welfycat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some cases hit closer to home than others. Some cases bring them closer to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As They Are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ctorres](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ctorres/gifts).



> Written for ctorres's fandom stocking.  
> Content Notes: Non-graphic case related discussions of violence. PG-13  
> Author Notes: Takes place in season three.

They were halfway through the flight to Des Moines and everyone was quiet. The briefing had only taken about thirty minutes and even that had been grim and professional. The information they'd been sent was sparse but the message clear: the Des Moines police department was in over its head and they'd waited too long before they'd asked for help.

JJ looked up from the file she'd held on her lap. There wasn't a lot of information in there that would help her. There would be a public outcry for information, reporters and citizens alike asking why they hadn't been warned about the danger, and that made her job a lot harder. It particularly made it harder that she absolutely agreed with them; if over a dozen women in four months had been kidnapped, tortured, and murdered in her home town, she'd want to know know too.

No one on the team was happy that they hadn't been called in sooner, she could see that just by looking around the jet. Hotch and Rossi were both grim with their heads bent down over their copy of the file; Hotch only just restraining himself from looking at the pictures of the victims that had been sent over. She knew he was probably wondering how many of them they could have saved if they'd been called in September instead of January. Derek was examining the photos, but she could tell it wasn't just rumination on his part; he was looking for something that might connect the women that they'd overlooked on the first glance through the pictures. Spence was busy plowing through the sparse information that Garcia had already managed to gather about the first two victims, probably building some kind of timeline in his head. The map was on the table next to him and he occasionally referenced it. They were all angry but they were sublimating that anger into catching the unsub before another victim joined the list. JJ may not have been a profile but she knew how to read her team.

It was Emily that JJ focused on the most. Emily's copy of the file was open on her lap and her head was bent down just like Hotch and Rossi's, but JJ could tell that Emily wasn't reading it in the same way they were. Emily's eyes were fixed at the top of the page and her hand only moved occasionally to flip to the next page. JJ knew that Emily was undoubtably doing her best to work past the images of the crime scenes they'd been sent and focus on something that would help. She also knew that Emily wasn't quite succeeding.

Part of the hazard in their line of work was the gender imbalance between unsubs and victims. Men weren't exempt from being victims, far from it, and women were the unsub often enough that they would never discount the possibility. None of that changed the fact that women were often victims because they were typically easier targets than men, or the fact that well built men usually had a greater capacity for physical violence. Both JJ and Emily had used the fact that they were overlooked because they were women to move closer to unsubs or talk them down when most of the men on their team wouldn't have been given the opportunity - Spence was often underestimated because of his youth and demeanor, but the gender constraints still applied to him.

Seeing a photo spread of women who were now dead, targeted by a man simply because they were women, was difficult for both of them. Law enforcement, even within the FBI, often viewed women as weaknesses and outsiders. Even within the team, where it shouldn't have mattered, JJ watched as Hotch routinely hesitated to send her and Emily into situations that were likely to involve chaotic combat. Of course Hotch always sent who was best for the job, but that moment of hesitation where he considered keeping them back wasn't lost on her, nor on Emily. Cases where women were specifically targeted only made Hotch's hesitations last longer.

JJ closed her file and stood up. It only took four steps to reach Emily and she sat down next to her without waiting for an invitation.

Emily looked up and a smile briefly touched her lips when she met JJ's eyes. She twisted her left hand so that it was resting palm up on the seat and facing JJ. It was a hidden shrug, a silent way of asking what could they possibly do.

JJ let her hand drop down so that it was near Emily's and touched her fingers to Emily's palm. She relaxed a little when Emily's fingers curled up and grasped JJ's. Their hands were hidden from view between them, but it was a small comfort they could offer each other that they couldn't get anywhere else. She didn't believe for a minute that the men on the team were unaware of the quiet tension that these cases brought, but there was nothing really that they could say. In general JJ wasn't a big believer that gender was a defining life trait, but in some circumstances she did think that you had to have experienced something to truly understand it. This was one of those times.

*****

The case lasted three full days and it was well after midnight when they were finished at the local police department. Hotch made the decision to stay at the hotels in Des Moines for another night, which suited JJ just fine. She wasn't in the head space to go back to an empty apartment at thee in the morning.

The team separated as soon as they reached the hallway and JJ showered before she even thought about anything else. They'd eaten take-out while they'd finished up the loose ends of the case, but that had been some time ago. JJ wasn't sure she was hungry, even though she probably should have been by that point. She sat down on the edge of the bed, brushing her wet hair and thinking about the case. The only good thing she could find about the whole situation was that they'd caught the unsub before another victim could die. The rest of it; the sickening sight and stench of the abandoned building, the long hallways they'd worked through with their hearts in their throats, and the three women they'd found bound and tortured - not of that sat well with JJ.

On some level JJ was proud of them, proud the team and Emily and herself. They'd done their job and they'd done it quickly and efficiently. Emily had been the one to suggest that the unsub was targeting woman who were regulars on public transportation, which had explained the spread of occupations and residences across the city. Emily had been the first one down the hallway and side-by-side with Derek as they handcuffed the unsub and took him away from the horror filled room. All the while she helped calm and unbind the kidnapped women JJ had thought about Emily's expression of power and determination.

Tired as she was, JJ didn't want to try to sleep when she still had that room and the case right in the forefront of her thoughts. She hung up her towel and pulled on a pair of socks, remembering to take her room key, her gun and her cellphone with her as she stepped out into the hallway. Emily would be up and awake, but JJ knew that she wouldn't come to her without calling first, and Emily wouldn't call this late at night. They shared hotel rooms when it was necessary and JJ had soon learned that Emily was an insomniac who hated keeping other people awake.

Knocking on Emily's door, JJ called "it's me."

Emily opened the door, the chain on and her gun in her hand. She was dressed in a t-shirt and soft pajama bottoms - almost identical to what JJ was wearing. Neither of them wore more feminine night clothing on cases, both unwilling to get a knock on the door in the night and appear soft or vulnerable when they answered. Emily shut the door, unhooked the chain, and opened it again.

JJ couldn't stop herself from smiling as she stepped into the doorway. If some unsuspecting person came across them in the hallway - two women in night clothes and holding guns - she couldn't imagine what explanation they'd come up with. Emily would have some ideas; Emily always had funny and insightful, and sometimes less than polite, ideas of what people might be thinking at any given moment.

Emily locked the door, latching the chain even though it was hardly an effective method of keeping people out, and went back to where she had dropped a towel on the end of her bed. "Couldn't sleep?" she asked. Her voice was blank; no judgement or sympathy, just a plain question.

Shrugging, JJ sat down on the end of the bed and waited for Emily to sit down. After a moment she did, the towel bunched on her lap. Droplets of water fell from Emily's dark hair and dampened the shoulders of her shirt. Without asking, JJ took the towel from Emily's hands and knelt behind her so that she could dry Emily's hair. JJ could remember her older sister doing this for her, but only so vaguely that she wasn't sure if it was an actual memory or just a wish.

Emily held still long enough for JJ to get most of the water out of her hair and then brush it so it hung neatly the way she always wore it.

Neither of them touched the lamps, all of which were turned on their brightest settings, and Emily went to the bathroom to finish getting ready for the night. JJ pulled back the covers and climbed in on the side of the bed closest to the window, knowing that Emily preferred the side near the door. She occasionally wondered if Emily let anyone take the side near the door when she shared a bed, but that was a question she'd never ask. Her instincts said no, but JJ had been surprised often enough that she didn't automatically believe everything her instincts told her.

JJ slid under the sheets, the fabric cool against her skin and placed the extra pillow from her side on Emily's pillows. JJ preferred to only sleep with one pillow whereas Emily liked to nest herself within them.

Emily returned to the main room, bent down to her suitcase to take a thick book in a language that JJ didn't know, and then came to the bed. Emily sat on top of the blankets, her bare feet resting together and her back propped up against the pillows. She opened the book to where she'd left off, without ever bothering with a bookmark, and propped it up on her thighs so that her hands were mostly free.

JJ let out a long breath that she'd been holding ever since the case file had come across her desk and smiled a little as she felt Emily's hand rest against her shoulder. JJ would fall asleep soon, able to relax better when she was in Emily's presence, and Emily would probably stay up for another few hours until whatever she was reading took the place in her mind of the case. Alone, together, they could let themselves be as they were.


End file.
